Saturday, May 25, 2019 09:12

What I Learned About the World via 'Night of the Bloody Apes' (1969)

One of the original ‘video nasties’, Night of the Bloody Apes is more than just a grisly, nudity-spiked apetastic romp. It can also be seen as an enriching life experience…so, this is what I learned about the world, simply from watching it.

* The style edict ‘both red and green should not be seen’ does not apply to lady wrestlers. Incidentally, female wrestling seems to be a sell-out sport.

* Even at the close of the 1960s, modern doctors can reliably expect to have a devoted hunchbacked servant who calls them ‘Master’.

* Gorilla hearts can reverse fatal heart conditions because…look, they just can. Now “Prepare the gorilla!”

* It’s not unusual to have rifles handy in Spanish operating theatres. Hey, you never know when your patient is going to turn into a marauding half-ape bent on murder, right?

* Entering, and exiting out of windows is the preferred mode of moving from place to place, and that goes for the medical personnel too.

* When the half-ape goes on a murderous spree in a local park, most people are certain he’s a regular escaped gorilla, despite the fact that he’s wearing a pair of trousers.

* A lady in a green dress who is on the receiving end of a forced ‘outfit change’ seems to have a self-repairing frock. If only everything in the scene was as durable – the grass underneath her seems to be detached from the ground and slides along when she does!

* During the closing scenes, even lots of dramatic music can not render an ape-man in blue pyjamas all that scary…

* …Although we do now know where Bo Selecta originated!

2 Responses to “What I Learned About the World via 'Night of the Bloody Apes' (1969)”

  1. dfordoom says:

    "a grisly, nudity-spiked apetastic romp" – sounds good to me.I love Mexican wrestling women movies. I've seen several of the early ones. I love the fact that all lady wrestlers are also amateur crime-fighters. I highly recommend Rock 'N Roll Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Ape. There's a great boxed set of Mexican horror called Crypt of Terror: Horror from South of the Border.

  2. Dok says:

    Hahaha! The film can't possibly live up to this review! Cheers dude, that's given me a much needed chuckle after a shitty night in work :)

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