Sunday, November 19, 2017 23:58

Questions I have about the world after viewing Satan’s Baby Doll (1982)

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1) How is it that dead bodies don’t decompose, or get a coffin, or indeed so much as a shroud to protect their dignity in this castle? Is this treatment extended even to the non-nubile dead?

2) Do novice nuns really wear colour-coordinated stockings? And do they really keep them on in bed?

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3) How is it that a paraplegic gentleman can make his own way to the bedroom of the writhing bestockinged nun, but can’t make it back? Oh, wait. Actually I might already know the answer to that one.

4) Is injectable heroin really the colour and consistency of rice pudding?

5) Does a bedbath really take that long? And did she really have to dry THAT bit of him as long as she did?

6) What the hell is that guy doing with the chicken?

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7) Who fell asleep on the synthesiser?

…And finally…What did Satan have to do with it, actually? It seems a bit part for Old Nick at best. Perhaps he was the executive producer?

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2 Responses to “Questions I have about the world after viewing Satan’s Baby Doll (1982)”

  1. David says:

    1) Great breasts never decompose. Ask any necrophile.

    2) Yes. Just trust me on this.

    3) ’nuff said.

    4) That depends on the source country and refining process. Mexican Black Tar heroin is more like Marmit…I’ve said too much.

    5) Only if it’s done right.

    6) Ripping the head off it. #pervertclub

    7) Probably Jean-Michel Jarre. Typically lazy Frenchman.

  2. Miss K says:

    …Thanks for that, Dave! I feel I am going to have to ask you more about 2) and 4) at some stage, but I can wait… ;)

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