Friday, October 19, 2018 14:21

What I learned about the world from ‘Dangerous Chucky Dolls’ (2008)

  • Charles Band is irrepressible. Nothing can stop the man. And I like it that way.
  • Female penitentiaries are sparsely populated and everyone sleeps in one huge room: it’s basically a sleepover.
  • Only two guards are needed – in an interesting spin on the ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine we have one ‘good cop’, and one ‘bad cop’ who runs a porno website in the basement, does coke off a workbench, and has an impressive array of dildos. Oh, and bad cop ‘Carl’ is actually a woman, and we know this as we see his abundant mammaries.
  • Guatemalan Worry Dolls, even if given to you by an innocent child, will literally crawl inside your head and make you do Bad Things.
  • When I say that they crawl inside your head, this is what I mean: you see the film’s protagonist, Eva, hope against hope for a better time in the prison. She asks the dolls for help. Ostensibly all of them clamber in through her ear, although the effects budget can only show one of them doing so. The one that we’ve seen then pilots her, by appearing via a zit on her forehead and shrieking with pleasure when she attacks her enemies.
  • It hardly needs saying, but this has nothing to do with Chucky. Presumably the hope was that people would mistakenly buy this thinking that it was a sequel of some kind. Either that, or people would buy this film after being encouraged by their happy memories of Child’s Play. Either way – no Good Guy dolls here. This film is the foundation stone of Worry Doll genre cinema.
  • To get the film up to feature length, the credits roll almost too slowly to be seen by the naked eye. I have a sneaking suspicion the running time also counts the trailer reel…
  • Surely, no variety of doll has now been omitted from the Full Moon oeuvre. Hang on – has he done sex dolls?

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